Korean dating gurus have spoken. If a guy keeps pulling one of these 12 old tricks on you, take the hint; He’s not into you. Abort mission!
1. “I don’t really check my phone”, he says.
Maybe this worked back in the days when phones weren’t such a huge part of our lives. Not anymore. The world is now connected through cellphones, we all know it. There is no chance that he doesn’t check his phone at least once or twice throughout the day, even for the time or the weather. Don’t kid yourself. He saw your text messages or your missed calls. He simply doesn’t have the interest in returning the contact. Move on!
2. You’re “His Person” only when it’s urgent (or desperate).
Maybe it is a late night phone call asking you to have a drink with him. Or, it could be that text message about some help on an assignment. It could be anywhere from an outright favor to a subtle hint. Whatever it is, when he reaches out to you first so randomly, it feels like a sign. He intrigues you with his cry for help and your world goes spinning. He knows you won’t turn him down if he pretends to be in so much need. He’ll use you because he can. Don’t be vulnerable. Say no and snap out of it!
3. The physical contact is there, but that’s all there is.
Have you two held hands? Have you kissed? Have you done everything there is to do between a couple? Yet you’re not an official couple yet. You aren’t exclusive. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend. When you ask him what it means, he shrugs it off without giving you a clear answer. Well, here’s the answer. He’s playing with your heart. The hugs and kisses mean nothing but him satisfying himself when you’re alone pouring your heart out. He’s not into you – maybe into your body, but not you.
4. The compliments don’t stop.
Be careful of the ones that shower you with all the beautiful words in the universe. He will call you his life and love, and this may look like he’s madly into you, but he isn’t. If the praise and compliments haven’t taken your relationship any further, what use are they? While flattery is one of the most effective way of wooing, he could be using it to keep you more interested in him. That is, so that he can #2 or #3 you.
5. Things feel “complicated” between the two of you.
Some things are meant to not work out. The earlier you accept this, the freer you may be from his never-ending attempts to keep you aching over him. When no matter how hard you try to make ends meet, the spark between you and him aren’t kindling back up… Perhaps the best idea is to let go. Love shouldn’t ever be that complicated and confusing. Dating is all about having fun and making great memories. If it’s too hard, it’s too bad. Remember, there are plenty more out in the ocean and he’s clearly not the one.
6. One time you land the date, he’s late and for no reason.
While you spent the morning, and maybe the night before, getting ready for this date that the two of you finally made happen, he completely forgot about it. You show up expecting him to be there, but he is nowhere to be seen. When you text him, he says he’s on his way but he’s running a little late. He doesn’t even have the decency to call you first about it or apologize. Then, thirty minutes later, he shows up looking like a bum. Remind yourself once again why you even want this guy. This isn’t what you want. He’s not into you, perhaps you’re no longer into him either.
7. He can’t remember a thing you said.
When you’re in love, you remember the things – even the most insignificant details – about your loved one; you remember the restaurant he likes, the cafe he wanted to try out, the brand of clothing he prefers, the movie he mentioned, and literally everything else about him. Does he do the same for you? Or does he try to take you on a picnic when you don’t like being out in the sun? Has he bought you another latte when you told him a hundred times you’re lactose intolerant? Is the next date at yet another BBQ grill when you endlessly hinted you wanted pasta? A guy, especially when in love, will remember when something is important—no matter how forgetful he usually is.
8. There isn’t a smile on his face.
Possibly the most basic way to tell if someone is in love is by the way he or she looks at the significant other. It’s true. It’s difficult to hide the smile when you see him walk toward you. Even when you want to stay mad, you can’t help but smirk at the sight of his face. Do you put a smile on his face too? Does his entire face brighten up when you call him by name? If he’s into you, your presence should glow him up. He who is in love shall have the jitters, the sparks, and the butterflies. It obviously won’t work if he’s not even excited to see you.
9. You haven’t been introduced to friends yet.
If he keeps most of his personal life hidden from you, you should already know something’s fishy. If he talks about his friends, but you have never seen them, things could be going dry between the two of you. He should, sooner or later, want to introduce you to his friends if he’s really into you and wants to make things work. He will want his friends to approve of you and for you to approve of his friends. This is just as true going in the other direction; if he turns down your offer to meet your group of best girlfriends… Something’s off. When he tries to stay away from getting too deeply involved in your life, that’s a hint that tells you he’s preparing to be on the go as soon as he feels the need to get out.
10. Rain check, rain check, rain check.
The golden rule is, guys in love will make the time. No matter how busy of a man you chose for yourself, if he is in love with you, he will move mountains and make the time for you. So if he has written you that hundredth rain check, know that it’s over. He’s not into you enough.
11. He doesn’t talk about the future.
When couples talk, they naturally plan things to do together. Without even knowing, the two in love will talk about what they want to do with each other. It can be something as simple as “What movie should we watch next?” to as serious as “How many kids do we want?” But the point is, when there is talk of the future, both parties are included in the picture. So you’ll know when he’s not into you. You’re not in his plans and he doesn’t want to be in yours. That’s when you realize you have to stop.
12. You can feel it.
Let’s face it. We know that you know when he’s not into you. It’s an instinct thing, and while it isn’t the most scientific, it’s definitely real. Girls can pick up on that very subtle change in his voice or look in his eyes. Often, they immediately know when the guy’s interest flames out. Trust yourself. If you feel like something is not right, something is probably not right. If you feel like it’s time to move on, it probably is.