Shortly after BTS‘s first “PERMISSION TO DANCE ON STAGE” in Seoul concert, Jungkook took to Instagram to voice what was really going on his head during the show.
In BTS’s old “log” style, he spoke freely to the camera and discussed how it felt like he had returned home after over 2 years of not meeting fans in Korea.
Hi, it’s Jungkook. So why am I in front of the camera? Just because… not! I came home from the concert a moment ago and out of the blue, I felt like doing a live broadcast. But I’m not at the company and I don’t have the camera that I use for live broadcasting right now. So I thought, I should film a short one and upload it.
And… finally, after two years, although it felt like 23 years, I got to perform in Korea. Like, wow… Finally. Overall, I felt extremely happy today. Just extremely happy. And… to be honest, I felt at home. I think that’s the right way to explain it; like I was finally back in my hometown. It was such a great time.
However, due to Korea’s COVID-19 safety guidelines, fans were not allowed to cheer or stand during the show to prevent the spread of the virus. Instead, fans could only participate by using a clapper, resulting in a much quieter audience.
Hmm. The thing is, especially in Korea, I usually get to hear the fans chant and sing with me. I didn’t get to hear that today though. And that made it really difficult for me today, to perform. I mean, it was still incredible. But I found it difficult. Just kind of hard on me though… It’s not that I wasn’t able to concentrate on the performance or that I wasn’t having fun. Like, I’ve done online concerts before. And I went into those considering them as, like, video shoots since the audience would be watching online. I have to focus on making it look perfect on camera and that’s it. But today, it was like… I’m looking at ARMYs right in front of my eyes but I wasn’t hearing anything [from the audience]… and they can’t get up and dance or anything. They had to stay seated… Yeah, it was just difficult to watch.
Jungkook faced the new situation bravely and tried to show the best version of himself to fans. Because of the lack of reactions, he was worried whether or not ARMYs could truly enjoy themselves during the unique situation.
I gave it my best. I think I might’ve gone overboard a bit, too. I felt confused, like, “Is it going to be okay that I do this or that?” Before going on stage, I thought, “Okay, since the fans can’t do much from the audience-like make noise or get up to dance-I should try even harder to give them an energetic show.” But then, once the show went live and it happened in front of my eyes, it felt a whole lot different. It wasn’t like what I expected, probably because it was the first time I was experiencing that…
So I kept worrying, like, “Are they having fun? Are they enjoying the show?” All throughout the show and even after… I was pretty concerned. That’s a part of the reason I’m sharing this video. I feel like I have stuff left to say.
Despite the new circumstances, he still did his best and enjoyed his time performing for fans while dealing with an influx of different emotions.
We felt super blessed and happy today. Watching you all made us feel so fulfilled. So I hope… Did you have fun? Was it good? Were you satisfied? I hope so.
It’s… that… I guess what I’m trying to say is that we could have done better had we gotten a rehearsal that is more realistic. What we dealt with today? That entire situation was new for us too. So… yeah. Wow… Yeah. Usually I have like real-time comments to react to, but here I am again. Doing this alone. This is kind of funny.
Anyway, it definitely felt like a new challenge for me. But all in all, I’m glad that it went successfully without anyone getting hurt. So… I don’t know, I feel confused right now. (Sigh) I miss you all already. I miss the moments on stage. I miss your voices that I would hear from the audience in the past. I’m having a mix of emotions tonight.
Oh and I think it was kind of cold today. I was on stage, dancing and sweating, but even so, my hands felt cold. And when I’d cool off a bit, it would get chilly. I was glad to see ARMYs well-layered and dressed warmly though. I really liked that. To those of you coming to see the 12th and the 13th shows, please come dressed for the cold. Wear a lot of layers. If it gets hot, you can remove them. But it’s best to be prepared. Bring gloves. Have heat packs in your pockets, too. I think there is a chance of rain, too. I’m not sure how accurate that is or if it will actually rain, but it could be a good idea to have raincoats just in case. Just… know that it’s going to be cold. So please, please come prepared.
Speaking his train of thought, he concluded with his hopeful message for the remaining concerts.
This frustration… Well, not frustration. I wasn’t frustrated. I was super happy. But… there are feelings left from the performance. The emotions that got worked up during the concert. ARMYs get these too, right? We all have them… I got curious, too. Like, “Are they really having fun right now?” BECAUSE I CAN’T SEE! Everyone’s wearing masks and I can’t see your facial expressions. I can’t hear your voices… So I became curious… Like, I have to know… Um… I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. I can’t even organize this train of thought.
Anyway, I haven’t even washed up yet. So I’m going to do that now. I’m going to take a hot bath to make sure I don’t catch a cold or anything. And I’ll work out tomorrow. I have to keep building stamina. That’s how I can keep going on stage! Anyway, I’ll keep training and practicing so that I can keep seeing you all in the audience.
See you on the 12th and the 13th! A big thank you to those of you who came to see us today and to those watching online. I don’t even remember what I said so far… I’m kind of out of it, I’m sleepy… Did my message come across okay? I’m not the best at expressing myself… I hope you understood what I meant. If there was anything to be understood… I don’t even know. Goodnight, everyone! Have a great evening!
While a new situation is never easy to adjust to, ARMYs know that the BTS members are doing everything they can to create the best concert possible!